“Forgiveness is choosing to love. It is the first skill of self-giving love.”
– Mahatma Gandhi
Do you find it easy to forgive people who have hurt or abused you in some way? I didn’t until I started to understand that I was hurting myself more by maintaining a tight knot of resentment and anger towards the people who had wronged me. As I learned to love myself, and make loving myself more important than hating the other person, a profound shift happened within me. I felt more loving not only towards myself, but towards everyone and all situations in my life. This shift in perspective produced a feeling state of relaxation, ease, and trust that all was right with my world, that I was divinely taken care of, that I was ok. I gained in self-confidence, courage and compassion.
(Forgiving your abuser does not make what they did ok, nor does it mean that you have to spend time with them. If they are truly remorseful, then perhaps you can patch things up. If they are not, continue on your way.)
This feeling state of choosing to love, rather than being resentful, takes you to a higher vibrational level of the Law of Attraction to attract good things to you. It’s a win-win for YOU. As regards the other person, that is not your business.
Mind Your Own Vibration:
Your business is to mind your own vibrational level and keep it high with love, happiness and joy. This takes focus, energy and attention and reaps rich rewards. When you take focus off the other person and keep it on yourself, you don’t get sucked into the vibration-lowering energy of blame, resentment and anger. Being unforgiving keeps you at the lower vibrational level of your abuser. Forgiving is a choice that raises your vibrational level as high as you want. You move from victim to mastery of your life. How wonderful is that?
Watch the Ego:
Here we have to be vigilant because the ego likes to be right. It wants to take revenge, get even, hurt back. Now, here’s where you have to be careful. It’s highly likely, almost certain, that you are right: that person should not have hurt you. However, getting revenge does not serve YOU. Know that the abuser is creating their own negative vibration and activating Newton’s 3rd Law of Motion which states that every action creates an equal and opposite reaction, sometimes known as the Law of Cause and Effect, sometimes known as Karma, or “what goes around comes around”. We must choose, therefore, between being right and being happy. And, believe me, being happy is the best choice!
Feel Love Expanding:
As you continue to put your energy, attention and focus on being happy, a miracle occurs. Love grows and expands, filling up your inner well and then overflowing for others to share and enjoy.
Experience Gratitude Arising:
A further gift we receive is experiencing the ease with which gratitude arises. Being thankful for all our experiences magnifies our happiness. Gratitude lifts us into a realm of possibility where dreams really can come true. It helps us access a place where trust, creativity and imagination reside.
As you live joyfully and contentedly, regardless of the situation, regardless of what you have or don’t have, you discover that joy is not dependent on anything, or anyone. It arises from within you. It is already there, you already have what you seek.
Meditation: Choose Love
When you choose love over a negative reaction, you bring yourself to a higher vibrational level of joy, peace and happiness. You therefore attract more love. Your life becomes easier, more fulfilling, and purposeful.
Love is Truth. Whenever you speak your truth, love is there. Love for yourself, that is, because the other person might not agree with or like what you say. Love, however, has a depth and a resonance that will keep you in alignment with your true self and serve you. You might not understand how right away, but in time all things become clear.
Always choose love. Bring love to the situation, even if you are the only one doing so.
About: Pragito Dove:
Pragito Dove M.A., C.C.H. is the leading authority on Expressive Meditation in North America. Using the principles she now teaches, Pragito transformed her pain and fear into joy and inner peace. Founder of the Laughing Buddhas Network and an internationally recognized master trainer, speaker, and meditation expert, Pragito is the author of two best-selling books, Lunchtime Enlightenment (Penguin Group), and Laughter, Tears, Silence (published in six languages). She has a private practice in Northern California from where she teaches highly acclaimed programs such as the Laughter Meditation Teleclass Program Series to an international audience! Pragito’s website is: http://www.discovermeditation.com